Divine Sustenance 2023 Solo Show

Good Fruit

18x24 in.

Acrylic and oil on panel

I have often contemplated my role as a mom and the weight of teaching my child truth and untruth. My mind sometimes falls on fear that my religion can, in the future, somehow harm my child.

I’m not scared of being wrong about my beliefs for me. I’ve come to a place where I value my religion and see much good in its influence in my life.

But I am scared of being wrong about my beliefs for him. What if he resents it when he’s older? What if he resents me for raising him in religion?

What is the other option? To not talk about spiritual truths to him? To let the world teach him to not believe in God? That can’t be right either.

This painting symbolizes this discord in my heart.

I now understand that, for now, I can pick what I feel is “good fruit” for him, until he’s tall enough to reach fruit on his own. I will do my research, I will pray, and I will show him how I try to find good fruit. Mom won’t always be right and there might be a worm in your apple, but I’ll try to check for those first.

Maybe he’ll find it sweet to his soul as well.

Or maybe, when he’s bigger, he’ll decide that he has different tastes than his mom.

He might not like the fruit I once offered him, but certainly, he’ll know that this doesn’t mean that there isn’t the good fruit of spirituality anywhere to be found.

And certainly, he’ll know his mom doesn’t expect him to like every fruit she does.

I imagine he’ll remember the process of watching his mom search out and find good fruit in the orchard, and go on a journey to find his own good fruit in spirituality.

For now, sweet child, I will be reaching for what I feel is good fruit in our orchard called religion.

I will check it for worms, and if we find one from our fruit tree, we won’t eat it.

I will taste the good ones for you to be sure, then I will cut it up into bite-sized pieces and offer it to you.

Because certainly, a life of spiritual fruit is so, so sweet.

Balancing Nuance

16x20 in

Acrylic on panel

This piece symbolizes that as a member of the Church, we can all have “Good Fruit” and while it might be the same fruit at the

core, the way we “Mormon” might look very different.

It’s not easy to balance a membership with varying beliefs and levels of beliefs, but I believe through the balance of nuance is where we learn to love and grow.

I’m learning that there is power in respecting and loving how everyone’s faith looks different, for we all have beautiful and varying purposes as a part of the body of Christ.

God’s Many Voices 24x30 in. Oil and Acrylic on Board
Handmade frame

I imagine God might say ”The dispensation of the fullness of times means that in your modern world, with all the advantages that you have, you get to look back and take all the goodness and the beauty and the truth of all times.”

2nd Nephi 29:6 is the verse that says “A Bible! A Bible! We have a Bible and we need no more Bible. Have ye obtained a Bible save it were by the Jews?”

So it's the scripture that Latter Day Saints use to say to the rest of the Christian world, why are you against more? Here’s another record of God speaking to his people, The Book of Mormon.

But if we're not careful, we might find ourselves saying, “A Book of Mormon, a Book of Mormon. We have a Book of Mormon.”

The scripture goes on to say, ”For I command all men, both in the east and in the west, and in the north, and in the south, and in the islands of the sea, that they shall write the words which I speak unto them..

I shall also speak unto all nations of the earth and they shall write it.”

And so I raise my hand, I say, “Lord, when did you speak to the Chinese?” And I can just hear him say, “Well, haven’t you read the Analects of Confucius?” Have you read the Dao De Ching?” “Well, when did you speak in India?” “Haven’t you studied the life of the Buddha and some of his teachings.”

In the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord Himself invited us, “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom”—

And finally, perhaps Joseph Smith said it best “Receive truth, let it come from whence it may.”

This write up is a summary of a podcast titled “God’s Many Voices” by S. Michael Wilcox found on the Faith Matters Podcast.

Divine Sustenance

18x24 in

Acrylic and oil on panel

The pear.

She first appeared in my life by chance- after receiving a

bowl of beautiful faux pears from my artist grandma.

She had painted them many times in her life and had been

touched enough by their grace, she decided to share their

beauty with her artist granddaughter.

The pear appears in religious art throughout the ages,

often symbolizing divine sustenance. And her feminine form

has begged us to use her as a symbol of divine femininity.

So, divine sustenance + divine femininity…well how could

I not answer that call?

Cut Wide Open

16x20 in

Acrylic on panel

This cut pear symbolizes the painful and beautiful

journey that is a Faith crisis, a faith deconstruction, a faith transition, a faith journey.

I found that diving deep into my faith, cutting it wide open, was uncomfortable yet deeply intimate experience with my God.

And ultimately, just what I needed to choose my faith

Albeit in an entirely new way.

Faith Deconstruction

24x36 in

Acrylic and oil on panel

I once looked at the fruit I was holding and found

it looked completely different than I remembered.

I almost threw it out of shock. Was this the same

fruit I held in my youth?

Surely it was, but the lighting had changed and

suddenly I could see in the shadows.

There were bruises, scrapes and scratches.

Like this fruit had a history I was entirely unaware of.

I wasn’t ready to take a bite yet, it still felt unfamiliar.

But I wasn’t ready to drop it either. After all, she had

fed me for so many years.

So I held her in my hand, looking at her

curiously. Learning more of her day by day.

The Drawing Compass : The fixed foot and the searching foot analogy

24x30 in.

Acrylic and oil on panel

Handmade frame

The drawing compass has two ends, one which is fixed at the center of the circle, and the other which is extended, and the further it goes out the bigger the circle that can be drawn.

We likewise have a “spiritual compass” which has two “feet”- the “fixed foot” in the center and the “searching foot”.

We must first find where to plant this fixed foot. It took time to realize I wasn’t trying to find the one true church among all the false ones, but to find the place where truth and goodness and beauty had reached their most mature form. That's where I want to plant my fixed foot.

What will we do with the searching foot? Unfortunately, too many religions and cultures do little with it, believing that their own particular fixed position contains the essential and only believable truth, goodness, and beauty.

They draw a tiny circle surrounding their own position and feel comfortable with life.

Truth is too grand to be found in such small dimensions. Our Parents in Heaven are light-giving Gods and dispense it as widely as the stars.

I suppose the founder of our religion said it best, “receive truth, let it come from whence it may.”

Learning of other’s religion and cultures only expands our hearts, and doesn’t take away from that which already believe. I believe God anticipates that as Latter-day Saints we will circumscribe the largest circle we can.

This write up is a summary of a podcast titled “God’s Many Voices” by S. Michael Wilcox found on the Faith Matters Podcast.

God’s Many Voices 24x30 in. Oil and Acrylic on Board

Handmade frame

“I shall also speak unto all nations of the earth and they shall write it.”

And so I raise my hand, I say, “Lord, when did you speak to the Chinese?” And I can just hear him say, “Well, haven’t you read the Analects of Confucius?” Have you read the Dao De Ching?” “Well, when did you speak in India?” “Haven’t you studied the life of the Buddha and some of his teachings.”

I imagine God might say ”The dispensation of the fullness of times means that in your modern world, with all the advantages that you have, you get to look back and take all the goodness and the beauty and the truth of all times.”

In the Doctrine and Covenants the Lord Himself invited us, “Seek ye out of the best books words of wisdom”—

We also are invited to seek all kinds of knowledge: “Things both in heaven and in the earth, and under the earth; things which have been, things which are, things which must shortly come to pass…” (D&C 88:79).

“Receive truth, let it come from whence it may.” Joseph Smith

This write up is a summary of a podcast titled “God’s Many Voices” by Michael Wilcox found on the Faith Matters Podcast.

Mind and The Heart

16x20

Acrylic and oil on panel

I feel that leading too much with either emotion or logic can cause one to be spiritually unbalanced.

This painting was done to emphasize the importance of both.

I’ve learned to not be afraid of what I feel is too academic or too logical - for this is a gift of God

I’ve also learned that I don’t need be afraid of what feels too magical or emotional - For this is also a gift of God

Exercising both muscles will make me more spiritually whole.

“Yea, behold, I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost… Therefore this is thy gift; apply unto it, and blessed art thou, for it shall deliver you out of the hands of your enemies,...Oh, remember these awords, and keep my commandments. Remember, this is your gift.”

D&C 8:2-5 2

Waiting on the Lord

24x36 in

Oil on canvas

This painting was done for the churches 12th international Art Competition and was on display at Temple Square from March 2022-2023

In 2018, President Nelson announced that there would be a temple built in an undisclosed city in Russia.

This stood in high contrast to the hope lost among the saints who, while I was on my mission there, learned that Russian President Vladimir Putin signed a stringent anti-terrorism law that severely limited outreach by any religions, save for the Russian Orthodox Church.

No longer could we share or talk about our religion to anyone outside of the church.

I painted this as a tribute to those Saints who are ready and worthy for their temple, but are simply waiting on a miracle from the Lord.

Here, she waits at a bus stop waiting for her bus driver to show up - the bus driver being the Lord. She’s in the right place at the right time.

She holds her temple bag symbolizing that the long wait has nothing to do with her worthiness and everything to do with the Lord’s timing.

Her traditional Russian scarf protects her from the cold wind of religious persecution that russians have endured throughout history.

The words on the sign translate to “bus stop” symbolizing that her next stop is the temple.

Symbiotic

30x40 in

Acrylic on canvas

My breasts have blisters

Your lips have blisters

Your body is healing from the physical trauma of birth

And so is mine

Detached and healing at your belly button

Detached and healing in my womb

Your body grows

My body contracts

Both learning to sleep when we can

All things new to both of us

Both crying

Both bonding

Comforted by eachother’s skin

No longer are we one body

But symbiotic

Gardeners

24x36 in

Acrylic on panel

This painting is dedicated to the women, both seen and unseen, who helped nurture my garden during that tender first year of motherhood, when I myself, was born into motherhood.

They planted seeds of knowledge.

Trimmed back anxious thoughts.

And watered my mind with encouragement.

My Fall

16x20

Acrylic and oil on panel

This painting is trying to depict the Adam and Eve like experience of leaving the Garden and undergoing a fall in our own lives.

This specific painting shows that experience within a marriage, more specifically when just one spouse is experiencing a fall.

This fall might come because of a betrayal, a mental health crisis, illness, a faith crisis, or death of a loved one.

In catching us, the other person sustains injuries they didn’t deserve, and in turn, they suffer along side us and we begin a journey of healing together. They step in as a type of Christ.

This painting is dedicated to my husband, who caught me falling at full force in our marriage, and we both needed to recover from the injuries sustained.